Ring Slings and Head Coverings

Veils and a hat in the Rogation Procession at Our Lady of
Clear Creek Monastery.

We arrived at Sunday Mass, a couple weeks ago.  I picked up the avalanche of toys Linus had thrown into the space between his carseat and the car door, tossing them back into the middle of the back seat when I will be able to reach them to give to him on the way home.  I unfasten Linus from his seat, pick him up, swing the diaper bag over my shoulder, reach into the outside pocket and find ...

Nothing.

I left my chapel veil at home.  I have been Catholic for eight years (all my "adult" life; I was received into the Church on my twenty-first birthday) and have worn a veil (or hat, or scarf, if I felt the veil might draw unwanted attention) all of that time.  I am acutely uncomfortable without one.

We went into the church and I checked the table by the door, where a basket of chapel veils often sits for those women who don't own one or, like me, forgot.  Not that day.

As I genuflect and get settled in the pew with Linus and Lucy and the diaper bag and their prayer books and holy cards, my husband whispers, "Is there anything in the diaper bag you could use?"  I shake my head.

I stand, holding Linus, during the Asperges, feeling the color rising in my cheeks, going over the contents of the diaper bag in my mind.  Nursing cover?  No, it has that helpful bit of boning, and it's far to brightly colored.  The ring sling is like a big shawl, and a nice unobtrusive khaki colored linen, but if I unthreaded it, the rings would jingle.  I was just pondering asking for my husband's handkerchief to tie over my hair, when I realized that I could pull the sling on through the rings, and then wrap it around my head and shoulders so that they would be mostly hidden.  I fumbled with it one-handed for a couple minutes, and by the Confiteor, had it settled and began to relax.

Not ten minutes later, my husband gave me look somewhere between panic and annoyance, while Lucy whispered "Poo-poo."  "I'll take her after the Gospel," I whispered.

As I took care of the diaper situation, I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror.  That's actually not half bad, I thought, and finally stopped worrying about my improvised shawl.  Later that day, my husband informed me that he was both amused and edified by my creative use of a ring sling.

Imitation

Lucy is building block towers, as usual, and just beside the
tower is the bookcase with the prayer books she's suddenly so
interested in.

This week, because of a confluence of intentions, inspiration, situation, and opportunity, I have been making a renewed effort at praying the Divine Office.  I use the Monastic Diurnal and a companion book containing Matins.  Lucy has suddenly seen me praying a lot more often, and she has suddenly taken an interest in some small prayer books we have around the house with a similar appearance to the ones I use.  As I start an hour of the Office, she'll disappear suddenly and be very quiet.  When I go to look for her, I find her sitting on the couch looking at a prayer book.  One day, I had started to pray, and then Linus needed something and I went to take care of him, leaving my book in Lucy's reach.  She stood there by it, turning the pages and babbling in the same inflection I use when reading the Hours aloud.  While Lucy wasn't the reason I started making an extra effort to fit in more of the Divine Office, I think I need to continue it for her sake.

I took both Lucy and Linus to Mass by myself this morning for the first time.  When I went forward to receive Communion, Lucy walked with me instead of being carried as she usually is, and when I knelt at the altar rail, Lucy knelt there beside me with her face right at the height of the rail.  And when we left the church after Mass, and I genuflected before leaving the church, she did also.


More and more, Lucy imitates what she sees me do.  If I do the right things, then by the time she reaches the age of reason, she will already have good habits which will easily become virtue, and if I don't, the the easiest opportunity will have been wasted.  The days when they are so impressionable are so precious.  I pray I will use them well.

Celebrating Epiphany

The wise men have joined our creche.
We had King cake after dinner ...

complete with a baby.

And we marked the door with blessed chalk.

Happy Epiphany!

Being Pro-Life

I've been thinking lately about what  it means to be pro-life.  Right now things like political activism and prayer vigils outside abortion mills are not in the cards for me.  As my mother-in-law and husband often say: duty before devotion.  I have duties that preclude doing such things.

So what does being pro-life mean in my life, right now? 

It means not complaining about being pregnant.  Being pregnant is not that bad, certainly not nearly as bad as some women make it out to be.  Yes, I'm uncomfortable.  Yes, my ankles are swelling.  Yes, it's May in Louisiana and I'm hot.  Yes, I'm tired.  But ... I'm healthy and my baby is healthy and I can do everything I need to do.  Pregnancy is not a huge inconvenience, so I'm not going to complain about it.  Honestly, it's not half as bad as I thought it would be based on the whining I heard as a young single woman (and I had major surgery mid-way through my first pregnancy.

Being pro-life also means being positive about my 11-month-old.  I don't consider her an inconvenience, and I want people to see that she doesn't inconvenience me.  She sweet and good-tempered.  I can take her to the store and she behaves beautifully.  I can take her out to dinner, and in most restaurants I can find something for her to eat.  The other day, we took her to a social event at a museum.  She looked at the paintings and she smiled at people and she didn't fuss at all.  Being six months pregnant while caring for a child under a year old is not a nightmare scenario (many people would consider it so).  I want people to see from my appearance, demeanor, and conversation (and the appearance and behavior of my children) that children are a blessing, not a burden.


People are tempted to prevent the conception or birth of children because they consider children a burden.  We can do things to change this perception.  We can start by speaking well of our children, just as we ought to do for our spouse.  In churches and other public places where we have influence, take measures to make them baby-friendly.  For example:  make sure there are changing tables in restrooms, and make sure nursing mothers of newborns have a relatively comfortable, private place where they can take their babies to nurse (this means making it clear to fathers of toddlers that it is not a space to take a misbehaving older child).

For me, being pro-life means showing the world how wonderful my children are.

From today's Mass

I was particularly struck by a passage from one of the prayers from today's Mass:

     "...O Lord, ... in kindness turn our wills towards Thee, even though they resist Thee."


Give me grace, Lord, to cooperate with grace.

Moses Striking the Rock by Pieter de Grebber
Image from Wikimedia Commons
Although Moses was commanded to speak to the rock, he struck it twice, thus turning his will away from God.  As punishment, Moses did not enter the promised land.

Climbing out of a Hole

Having recovered from morning sickness sooner than I expected (Deo gratias!), I am now working on climbing out of the hole where several weeks of neglect have left my housework.  Where did I start?  Mostly by accident, I started with prayer.  I was so overwhelmed by the mountain of things left undone that I didn't know where to begin.  At the same time, I was feeling the need to rethink my prayer life, which was also suffering from neglect.

Working from my favorite breviary (the Monastic Diurnal), I abbreviated the hours to be short enough not to overtax my baby's attention span, and laid out two days of prayers:  Sunday, and weekdays.  I am also hoping that this will be repetitive enough that after my little girl begins to talk, but before she is able to read, she will be able to pray with me.  I assigned times throughout the day for each of the hours of the Divine Office, arranging them around naptimes and mealtimes.

After doing this for a couple days, I realized that I now had a working schedule for my day.  I could now use this framework to schedule times to do brief daily household chores like dishes and laundry, so that I can keep those aspects of the household running smoothly (instead of getting buried every few days).  So far it seems to be working.  There are a lot of other things that still need my attention, but the task has become a lot less overwhelming.  I guess it really does work to start with prayer!

Holy Water

We have a holy water font next to our front door.  I have had a holy water font since shortly after my conversion.  While I was still living in the dorm in college, I had a plastic font attached to one side of my desk with command strips (little adhesive strips that come off without damaging surfaces or leaving a sticky residue).  In other places it was hung near the door of my bedroom.

Holy water is a reminder of baptism.  In the old liturgical books, holy water was used in blessings of objects and many blessings of people.  I see mentioned in many places (I have not been able to find an authoritative source -- if anyone knows where to look, please leave me a comment) that holy water has the power to remit venial sins.

Whenever we leave the house we make the sign of the Cross with holy water.  Do you have a holy water font in your home?  I highly reccommend the practice.

Perspective

Several years ago I was at the house of friends and saw their two-year-old doing something I knew she wasn't supposed to be.  I frowned at her (I gave her what I call the "teacher look" -- you know, the one that says, "I see you misbehaving and you better quit before I have to come over there.") and she stopped, put her lower lip out, and cried.  I felt pretty proud of myself.  After all, I got a two-year-old to stop misbehaving with just a look.  (The middle school kids I was teaching in school at the time? They were not at all impressed by my teacher look.  I don't think it works above about seven years of age.)

Today my baby fussed.  Why?  She was asking for my attention.  I, being involved with something else, frowned at her (just frowned, nothing like the teacher look).  She cried.  I felt like crying, too.

Oops.

So I told her I was sorry, and I picked her up and cuddled her, and I left what I was doing on the floor, abandoned, until she took a nap half an hour later.

If I were a saint, I would never frown at a baby.  As it is, hopefully I'll do better for at least a week ... or maybe a day ... a couple of hours? ...

Mea culpa.

Good Example

It seems to me that the easiest way to teach a child to do something is to do it yourself.  Children are sponges; they absorb and imitate everything.  Having a baby who is newly interested in watching me eat is causing me to rethink my eating habits.  Is what she's seeing me do what I want her to learn?  Not really.

So what needs to change?  I should eat healthier things.  I should snack on fruit instead of peanut butter or crackers.  I should be sure to pray out loud before and after eating.  These are the habits I want my daughter to have, so these are the habits that I must form in myself.

Angelus

Here's another indulgenced prayer that takes about a minute to say.  Traditionally, the angelus is said at 6 am, 12 noon, and 6 pm, and a partial indulgence is granted to those who recite it at any or all of these times.  I realized today that I am generally holding a baby and walking around at all three of these times, so a memorized prayer would be really easy to do at those times.

Here's the text of the prayer in Latin:

     V. Angelus Domini nuntiavit Mariæ.
     R. Et concepit de Spiritu Sancto.
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostræ. Amen.
     V. Ecce Ancilla Domini.
     R. Fiat mihi secundum Verbum tuum.
Ave Maria...
     V. Et Verbum caro factum est.
     R. Et habitavit in nobis.
Ave Maria...
     V. Ora pro nobis, Sancta Dei Genetrix.
     R. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.
     Oremus: Gratiam tuam quæsumus, Domine, mentibus nostris infunde; ut qui, angelo nuntiante,
Christi Filii tui Incarnationem cognovimus, per passionem eius et crucem, ad resurrectionis gloriam perducamur. Per eumdem Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

And here is the prayer in English:

     V.  The angel of the Lord declared unto Mary.
     R.  And she conceived by the Holy Spirit.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.  Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.  Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.  Amen.
     V.  Behold the handmaid of the Lord.
     R.  Be it done to me according to thy word.
Hail Mary ...
     V.  And the Word was made flesh.
     R.  And dwelt amongst us.
Hail Mary ...
     V.  Pray for us, O holy mother of God.
     R.  That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
     Let us pray.  Pour forth, we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts, that we to whom the incarnation of Christ Thy Son was made known by the message of an angel, may by His Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of His Resurrection; through Christ our Lord.  Amen.

A Visit to Church

According to the current Manual of Indulgences, "A partial indulgence is granted to the Christian faithful who, while carrying out their duties and enduring the hardships of life, riase their minds in humble trust to God and make, at least mentally, some pious invocation."

Baby and I went to church yesterday to make a visit and drop something off for the pastor.  On the way, she pooped.  She had been saving up for about twenty-four hours, so it was overwhelming.  It was on her clothes.  It was on the carseat.  It was all up her back.  I changed her diaper on the back seat of the car, and used every wipe I had to clean things up as well as I could.  Then I closed the diaper, but it seems I closed it too tightly, becuase the poo came oozing out -- on the car seat, on the floor, on the container of wipes ...
So anyway I had one wipe left, reserved to "wash" my hands, so I wrapped everything up in the changing pad and wiped up as much of the rest of the mess as I could, and we went to make our visit.  By this time the church door was locked, but we could see into the church, so I pointed out Jesus in the tabernacle to my baby, and we said an Our Father, and went on our way.

In the morning before all this I made a general intention to gain all the indulgences I could for the holy souls in Purgatory.  So.  I gained an indulgence for all this, right?

Morning Offering

One habit I have never acquired since becoming Catholic is that of saying a morning offering prayer every morning.  Since this is a habit I would like to teach my children, I need to cultivate it in myself.  Because at this season of my life I stagger out of bed in the morning to go change and feed the baby, I need to associate this prayer with the act of changing the morning's first diaper.

Here's how I'm going to do this:

I've written the prayer large enough that I can read it from across the room.  This way, I can read the prayer either while I'm changing a diaper or after sitting down to nurse.

O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer Thee all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day for all the intentions of Thy Sacred Heart, in union with the holy sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world, in reparation for my sins, for the intentions of all our associates, and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father.

Gathering Dust

In my continuing effort to perform my daily duties more perfectly, the next item that needs my attention is dust.  My home has been gathering dust for some weeks (maybe months?).  This concerns me cheifly because some members of my family are allergic to dust, so I really ought to try to keep up with the dusting and vacuuming around here.  So my goal for the week:  seek out and destroy all the dust bunnies.

Ordinary holiness

Christ says "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)

Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman says "It is the saying of holy men that, if we wish to be perfect, we have nothing more to do than to perform the ordinary duties of the day well."

I am very imperfect, and since I am a slow learner in such matters, I am going to attempt to acquire one good habit at a time.  This week my goal is to clear away dirty dishes after every meal, instead of letting them accumulate on the kitchen counter.  By next Monday, I hope to have gained the habit of a clean kitchen.  What ordinary duties could you do more perfectly?